The moon was in Capricorn all weekend, culminating in a Full Moon yesterday. This is my natal placement, so naturally, I was feeling a bit emo and reflective all weekend. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet that governs ambition, responsibility, discipline and structure. This isn’t easy energy to deal with typically—but it’s an energy I’ve become familiar with because of it’s prominence in my chart. Most of my life has revolved around overcoming restrictions that were placed on me by others or most often my own conditioning. I spent some time journaling about how different I’ve felt in this last year, but I’ve also experienced significant expansion over the last four years since leaving my full-time job, and then the last eight years since I began my spiritual journey. I still don’t have it all figured out (and probably never will!) but as always I try to honor and appreciate the moments, even the difficult ones, that led me here.
In the last year, I have restored my trust in myself. A big part of that was due to walking away from the relationship I was in. Of course, I trust myself when it comes to many things in life, but for so long, I felt like I couldn’t navigate a romantic situation alone. Over the years, I’ve watched friends around me fall into relationships seemingly effortlessly. It felt like they were equipped with some road map or instruction manual I never received. So, I searched for advice and answers in books. Then, I worked with astrologers and tarot readers to help me navigate dating situations in hopes that I would somehow make fewer mistakes and wouldn’t have to sit with discomfort so often. I didn’t realize how much I outsourced my power to others and how it paralyzed my decision-making.